I am SOOOO long winded today. Don’t know WHY!

I just have so many thoughts going though my head about my life and juggling it all.

Before I do that, let me share my card-and then you can totally skip the needless banter that is what I call my blog-therapy! LOL! Cheaper than a shrink listening to be babble about my imperfections ūüėÄ

OK So today I am peeking AmyR’s Thank You sentiments.¬†This will be released June 1st ūüėÄ

pretty-flutter.JPG 

I also decided to ink up a yet to be used set I had: Bug A Boo’s. Available NOW!

I LOVE the butterfly (of course! :D) and had to use her finally.

I used purple and black-Im so into purple these days-its ridiculous! LOL! I love the colors and layout on this-I was quite happy for my mojo to return. I am sad that today is RAINY RAINY RAINY! Nothing like the day this was taken which is pure Spring and sunny.

The sentiment got me thinking about today, my life and the gift or Motherhood. The up and downs! All of it. Im so thankful I have my children. When I was 17 they told me I wouldn’t be able to have kids! I had severe ovarian cycts and endometroisis. REALLY BAD. On top of a tipped uterus. Obviously they were (THANKFULLY) very wrong! It actually got better after having my children too.

I am coming to the realization as my kids grow that being a mom is a WAY tougher job than I ever imagined. Makes nme really appreciate my own mom who raised us on her own.

Can you imagine the Ad that would be in the newspaper for the job of a mother?

WANTED:

 Job title: Mom

 No experience necessary. On the job training. Must be a selfless, loving person who is willing to give 200% of them-self at all times. This is a full time position. Must be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No holidays, no vacations or sick time. Must be able to tolerate the handling of any/all bodily fluids. Drivers License is required. You must be able to work on little sleep at times. Must be able to provide minimum of 3 meals , and 2 snacks daily. Job requirements also include cooking, cleaning, laundering, teaching, refereeing, and some nursing skills.  You must be able to count to 10 and recognize when YOU require a time out. When you do something wrong you are required to wear a virtual GUILTY sign on your back for a minimum of 2 days.

Payment comes in form of  love, happiness, heartwarming moments, and memories, along with hugs, kisses, and I love yous. Also included but not limited to: worry, heartache, headaches, and amazement.

Benefits included and provided after 18 years of service and dedication in the form of a hopeful THANK YOU MOM! I love you.

Now that is some job title.

We all learn as we go right? And I think we can all agree its worth every second.

My biggest fear is realizing I did it ALL WRONG! LOL!! I’m sure Im not alone.

One thing I am (proudly)¬†is organized. NOT all the time but for the most part. I do my best to keep track of everything, keep my house in order (not spotless as I would like-like my mom’s house) but clean all the same, and I do everything I promise I will. I even somehow manage some sort of one on one time with my kids daily-and make arts and crafts a daily part of our lives.

I have the ever going “to do list”.

One thing I’m far from- is perfect! It is easy to confuse the two, or think they go hand in hand!

Organization is the ILLUSION of perfection. In my opinion.

More time that passes the more I realize I don’t have that Wonder Woman cape that I thought was trailing behind me! I think I lost it somewhere! LOL!

That being said you all know I have 3 kids. I don’t know HOW they became such busy little people. They don’t tell you that when you have them! Now I know there are by far larger families out there, and my point to this is HOW do you do it? I just don’t know.

I am fortunate enough to be able to be home with them. They are my PRIMARY “job”. By that I mean everything they are involved in, I am involved in, to the fullest extent of my being.

That means if there is a field trip I am chaperoning, a class party I am there, with some sort of goodie (not home-made! I gave that¬†pressure up a long time ago, and I think my kids will survive. They won’t (hopefully) remember that I BOUGHT the cupcakes! Just that I was there and I brought them!!)¬†I go to every appointment, stay on top of their education (and fight with doctors and schools endlessly!) and then of course there are the extra circular activities that happen. When you have THREE kids it seems there is something DAILY. Then there is the¬†taking on MORE kids (aka my children’s friends) for play dates, and adopting a few kids whose parents can’t be/aren’t home for them-ever. That to me is what being a SAHM is all about. Doing every thing I can while home with my kids. Lord knows in a few years I will turn into a virtual TAXI cab, and my kids won’t even know I’m alive, until its time to pick them up from X, or I say NO to something the NEED/WANT!

Honestly now that they are getting OLDER I feel LESS organized, and like I’m always running in 5 different directions. I am thankful THEY remember everywhere “I” am suppose to be these days! LOL! It just seems like each day melts into the other, and time is flying by. I mean really-its ALMOST June and I’m still feeling like its April! LOL!

I don’t know how working mom’s balance it all. I envy that they can, because I am HOME and barely keep up. Granted if my daily “plan” plays out step by step I’m all good, but good grief if anything unexpected and not in my “plan” pops up, its all shot up.

Just today Noah reminded me that it is his Authors Tea, and I need to be there by 10am! He was to dress up, and bring in a stuffed animal. OK got it!

WHEW! Thank GOODNESS he reminded me! Even though it was on the calendar I would have forgotten. I have like 6 other things to do today, but that immediately jumped to NUMERO UNO!

OK so maybe Im not even organized anymore, let along close to a shred of perfect! LOL!

I totally spaced it on his class Thanksgiving party this year! I thought it was on one day, and they had it on a odd day- the day before I thought it was. I am the ROOM MOTHER! How did I space that? I put my GUILTY mommy sign on when¬†I picked him up the minute I heard a little girl in his class “claim” to me they had a party today.

¬†I sat there and “argued” with the 5 yo saying. No sweetie that party is tomorrow.

Nuh UH! We had it today.

I continued to tell her NO! Its tomorrow. I’m bringing in brownies. Your must have had something else.

She said “Well Miss Lauren (she is SO cute she always calls me that)I’m sorry to¬†tell you, but you missed it because we didn’t have brownies at our party, and we had on our Pilgrim and Indian hats”

WHAT!! No WAY! I MISSED it!?! REALLY!? SERIOUSLY!? OH! NO!!!!!!!!!

So Noah comes around the corner, to tell me I missed the party! Where was I? I can’t believe you didn’t come to my party. You always come!

Um at home. Thinking it was TOMORROW! The day it usually is for the past 5 years!!

Do you think he ever lets me “forget” anything now? NOPE! I try to forgive myself and get over it, but I can’t! LOL!

Even when I go to ALL¬†¬†the parties now¬†he says” Hey mom remember at Thanksgiving when you forgot to come to my party? Do you think he’d forget-NOPE!!! He really does remind me of that.

Anyway, Im not sure what my point to this post is. I guess I just don’t know how I can squeeze everything into each day. These days I feel like Im not cutting it. I’m always running and not getting it all done. How or when did that happen?!

I want to make sure when its all said and done that I did my best. No regrets. I don’t think there is a mom alive who doesn’t regret something right?

Why do I feel like I need that Cape?!

I guess I have to embrace the fact that I CAN’T do everything. Life isn’t one big planned out event. I should know this having had Alexa get Cancer! You NEVER know what is around the corner. Maybe that is why I try so hard to squeeze every ounce I can out of each day? Live to fullest.

Bottom line I guess is, do what we can. Try our best. Be there for our kids, and at the end of the day-if they know you love them, (even if you missed a party (even if they NEVER forget) in the end they will remember that you did your best. They will remember the majority of the good stuff.

My hope, my wish, my goal-despite all I can, can’t did or didn’t do, that they will be self sufficient, caring, loving and happy people who contribute their best to society. That’s all we can hope for in the end.

OK Im off of my blah blah blah! Yikes!
SORRY you had to endure that. I feel better about my inadequacies now though

As for the Wii advice-thanks to all.

I do pretty crazy workouts so Im going to look into some other options I think.

Ill keep you posted. You all helped me get invigorated again-so thank you!!

Tomorrow I have a CHALLENGE for you all-so come back then

Till tomorrow