Thanks so much for all the thoughts and prayers. They truly mean so much to me. You have no idea.
Its been an insanely draining few days for me here. My other posts were pre-posted, and I have just been a big mess. Functioning and trying to get my mind off things but still not good. Trying to maintain normal till I thought my world may fall apart AGAIN.
Alexa has had some major things going on, all of it I can’t and won’t get into, but some including a lot of random falling, arm pain, headaches and as I said few other major problems. Some of the things that lead to her cancer diagnosis. some unrelated. ALL very scary prospects. We are still waiting on some tests, one being that she does have an infection-not sure what kind yet since it hasn’t fully grown, the others prove positively NO CANCER. THANK GOD!! I don’t know that I can bare that again. I know too many people who have had to, and are, and I’m not sure how they do it. I guess like we did the first time. One step at a time. The worst is knowing what tomorrow brings. The first time (like labor) you have no idea what will come, but already going through it YOU KNOW. I almost lost Alexa a few times. The loss of a child has to be the worst thing a parent can go through. I cannot even fathom the idea. While its crossed my mind, I can’t go deep into thought. That being said, none of us have a guarantee. I know this. When you have something earth shattering happen, and you come so close to losing, the fears and thoughts and REALITY are magnified. Its unexplainable.
Anyway………..thats getting too morbid. Im just an emotional mess, and poor Jay has had no idea what to say or do.
There were some medicine issues that caused some of her symptoms so that was an easy fix. That caused headaches, possibly the falling and a few other things. Once we figured that out it was good. Not knowing it was a med, and having the other symptoms she did was very scary.
Anyway, I think and hope we are in the clear for most of my concern. Obviously we have this infection to figure out, but I am just thankful that the worst of the fears had been laid to rest.
I am emotionally drained and haven’t slept in a couple of days. Now I need to crash! LOL!
I do have some really great stuff to share, but am choosing to wait till tomorrow so I can write up a happy post, and not an exhausted, half hearted attempt at sharing. If I can’t put in 100% I won’t do anything!
I really want to thank you all for the emails as well. I do read everything and will respond soon. I just need to take time with my family today.
I talked extensively to Alexa’s physician (her oncologist) who I so love, trust, and respect. She was my therapist today, as was the entire staff. They reassured me of some of the things I was stressed about and that helped. This gripping fear of cancer coming back is never going to leave. I can’t even stand the things that go through my mind when something goes wrong with Alexa. She is a very complicated child, let me tell you. She keeps me hopping.
I know God won’t gives us what we can’t handle, but sometimes I wish he didn’t have so much faith in me! LOL! I’m really not that strong.
Again while I cant get into all of it, just know you all here have provided us with so much love and support and that is priceless to me, as are my family and friends who are there for us as well. We felt very covered in prayers, and love!
Thank you again for “listening”. Typing this stuff out (and people actually reading it! LOL!) really does help. Heck even if no one read it, it still helps. Sometimes I am too drained to even “talk” about it, but typing just lets it flow.
Till tomorrow-
91 Responses for "Update: Alexa"
Lauren: Know that we all are thinking extra good, strong thoughts for you. Please take the time to rest & spend with your family. Many prayers & hugs.
Take the time for yourself and your family. Know that we are here to lend an ear. Best of all, God our great Jehovah-Rapha is with you and your family and doctors.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers… be at peace, Marilyn
Hugs…
I have been checking in hoping for an update. I am glad to hear that things seem good and most of your concerns have been answered.
I have heard that saying about God only giving us what we can handle but wishing he didn’t trust us as much. I have felt the same way myself (I think every mom has) but I havne’t had to deal with what you deal with everyday. Your family and I will continue to stay in my prayers.
((((Lauren))))) Wish I was there right now to give you a BIG hug and not just a cyber hug…I can only imagine what you are going through right now and I am keeping the faith that all will be okay! Take all the time you need for the family…that is most important. If there is anything I can do…holler…like me coming up with a sketch for this Saturday? Just say so…It won’t be a Lauren sketch but you’re a darn good teacher 😉
Big hugs my friend!
So glad things are looking up. We do read, we do care, and we do all wish the best for all of you. And I’m sure that most of us are not looking for individual replies — I know I’m not. The important thing is that you take care of yourself and your family first. Any one of your dazzling creations is enough to keep us going for a while! 🙂
I have been thinking about you all day today, Lauren. Thanks for the update. Now you need to go to bed early and try to get a good night’s sleep. We are all praying for you and your family. Don’t worry about your blog–just keep us informed is all we ask. OK. Now , feel all our arms encircling you with our love and caring and please rest so you don’t get sick.
Hugs,Cheryl
Hugs, prayers and best wishes from Ireland.
just sending you BIG hugs, prayers, and lots of love. for you and all of your family!
Jennifer
Oh Lauren… I wish desperately I could just stop on by, give you a hug or two, share a box of tissue, and have a cup of coffee with you.
Your post moved me to tears. I don’t really ‘know’ what you’re going though but I can “feel” it in your post – your pain, your fears, your anxiety, your helplessness, your love and your hope. No wonder you’re emotionally drained.
Please take care of yourself. Now that you got some good news and just waiting on a few more test results – hopefully you can get some sleep.
You are one remarkable lady and one I truly respect and admire – Alexa too.
I love you like a sister. Prayers and good thoughts are with you. {{{hugs}}}
Big hugs and love,
Renee
Praying peace and comfort that only He can provide for you.
I’m reading your stuff…
…and I’m praying. Praying for healing, continued wisdom, peace, and His comfort.
{{{Hugs!!!}}}
Oh, Lauren, I am so happy to hear that is sounds like everything is going to be okay. I know you were scared senseless…who wouldn’t be; but not that you are reassured, PLEASE get some rest!!! That will help you a lot. Go to bed early, and sleep a LONG time! I really hope you can do that, for a couple of nights at least! Bless your heart, I wish I could help you somehow. But know that I care, and that I am in NE cheering you on! You are a wonderful person, and we all love you! We want the very best for you, always =)
Have a good night, and sleep tight!
I am praying for you too! I can’t imagine the terror you have been feeling. I am so glad the cancer is still at bay. Go get some rest! Know that lots of people are praying for you. I hope you can feel all the hugs we are all sending your way. Love on your kids and take care of you! That is most important right now. ((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))
my heart and prayers are with you and your family….know that we all care and hang in there!!!!
Lauren – I’m so glad that the worst of your fears have been laid to rest. I cannot fathom what you are going through but each time I read your blog and your fears, my heart just breaks. Will continue to pray that the infection is cleared up quickly and that the new meds take care of the rest of her symptoms. Hugs to you and your family.
Oh you poor thing. Take a long snooze and hug your whole family.
You know what maybe you don’t understand is what an inspiration you are to us. To me for sure, and I think many others. You’re not a mess, you’re not fragile, you’re this incredibly strong graceful lady that makes me think “my gosh – if I had HALF Lauren’s strength, what I could do!!”
You amaze me and so does your beautiful daughter.
Thank you for making time to share with us – your family, your sweet spirit and your beautiful art.
God bless, honey. (((((hug)))))
Lydia
Best wishes as you heal your spirit from the drain of the unknown. Sounds like from all I seen you say, your family has been blessed. Alexa appears to be a true blessing and I hope she continues to grow and spread her light.
Thank you for sharing. Just going to bed (very late in the UK) and stopped by to see what news. Glad things look better but I am sorry you are all going through tough times. Hopefully you can rest and Alexa too and the infection will be handled quickly. God bless. Janine
Oh thank God there is no cancer!!! I can feel and hear your exhaustion in your post. Please Lauren, get some rest before you collapse.
Oh sweetie, I will continue to pray for Miss Alexa. I can’t imagaine what you have to deal with but continue to have strength and faith! You are truly amazing as is your family. Hugs to all! Hang in there!
We have been away today but you and Alexa have not been far from my thoughts all day. I am so glad to hear that it isn’t cancer and I understand how that feels we lost my dad to cancer and it’s 10 times worse when it is a child just beginning life. Take time to look after yourself. Anticipation will make your your show and tell all the sweeter.You must be exhausted no sleep and stress. l feel I know you as I check your blog daily to view your wonderful creations and all the templates you so generously share. Lots of hugs to you and your whole family. Ann Lind
Take care of you…still sending hugs and prayers…
I am glad to hear there is a better out look on things! Yea!!!!!!!!!!! I hope things continue to look up, and Alexa gets better physically and emotionally for all of you!!!
Take all the time you need with your family!!!
When and if you have a moment and that can be weeks from now. I posted some cards I made after you showed us your Mom’s Bella stages of Life Birthday card in April. I made 12 different ones with different hair colors and Bella’s to fit each Mommy and her walk in Mommy Hood.
They were fun to do, but man after 12 of them I was a little tired of the Bella’s He he.
My first Post that talks about them and showes it best is titled.
The Bella of all Bella’s Card.
Thanks for the idea and I gave you lots of credit for it in my post!!!
Where did you get the polka dot paper? I had to make my own with black paper and white polka dots and I colored every polka dot in with the 8 colors I used the most in the cards. They were fun and people adored them!
http://heathersheavinlystampations.blogspot.com/
Take Care you and your family will remain in our thoughts and prayers!
Heather Schlatter
Kansas
I know exactly what you mean about “typing” when you can’t “talk”. I’ve been there so often and you PSF’s have been right there to “listen”.
Take a deep breath and tonight, let yourself rest. You can be sure the PSF’s will wrap you and Alexa in a sweet blanket of prayer.
You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful that you have had good news. We will continue to pray for good news always! Rest and take care of yourself because you can’t take care of anyone if you don’t!
I hope that you are able to get some rest and that Alexa will be feeling better soon! I will keep her and your family in my prayers.
Melissa
Sweet Lauren…while I can’t begin to know how you feel there is one person that does and you already know Him….God will take care of everything….He is our strength when we need a soft place to fall. All He asks is that we put our Faith and Trust in Him which it sounds like you have! Keep up your trust and He will take care of the rest :~)
Our God is an awsome God…He reigns from Heaven above…Our God is an awsome God!
Your in my thoughts,
{{{HUGS}}} Sweet dreams my friend…hoping you get LOTS of rest. Glad to hear the worst of your fears has been eased.
Still praying for you and your family!!! {{{HUGS}}}
I didn’t respond to your last post, however, I hope you know Alexa and your entire family has been in my thoughts. So glad the news today has been NO CANCER. keeping you in my thoughts.
My prayers are with you and your family. You are stronger than you think and also you are such an inspiration to ALL of us!!! Agustina
I’m so glad to hear that there is no cancer–whew!–and am hoping for more good news on the rest of the tests.
I hope that you are snoozing right now–making up for some of that lost sleep!
I’ve also been watcing for an update…so glad to hear the news so far is comforting. More prayers coming your way that the infection is from a minor cause and will clear up rapidly. Lauren, you share so much with all of us daily that it only comes natural that we send prayers and good thoughts your way whenever you need them.
I was so glad to see your post when I got home from church! I’ve checked back many times today for an update. I’m like Renee, I don’t “know” what you’ve been through or what you’ve been feeling the last few days, but I can “feel” it in your posts. God is good – ALL the time! I’m so thankful for you & Jay that all the tests came back good today! Now we just continue to pray for that infection!
Sleep well!
Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Lauren, I hear that all the time and I have to say I am not pleased with god’s plan for me and my family. Having a disabled child and some more within the family makes me question why all the time. I wish I had an answer. I will be thinking about you and your family and especially Alexa. Good wishes to all of you. You are a very special person and deserve an easier time.
Oh Lauren, I’m so sorry you have to go through that stress again! 🙁 I didn’t see your previous post but from what I understand from this one things are looking up now. I guess it takes time and trial and error to find the right treatment for Alexa but I know she is in good care. I can only imagine what you are going through everytime something seems off.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you can get some rest and relax a little now and get your strenght back. (((((hugs)))))♥
Holy smokes!! I am so sorry you all are going thru all this again! I luv your Baby girl a ton just from all the blog posts & what an amazing kiddo!! And you are the BOMB MOM!! Get some rest!! {{HUGS}}
Big hugs to you and your family. You are much stronger than you think, and it’s been amazing reading your journey. I wish you and your family the best.
Big hugs to you and your family. You are much stronger than you think, and it’s been amazing reading your journey. I wish you and your family the best.
Love, hugs, and continued prayers ((((((Lauren)))))).
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family Lauren. Take time to spend with them, we will be here for you whenever you get back. God bless & take care of yourself as well.
((BIG HUGS))
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I didn’t see your previous post earlier so didn’t send my prayers earlier but please know there are alot of people send good vibes to your family. And “you are strong”, never doubt yourself! ((BIG HUGS))
All I can say is keep up the good spirits…You’ll get through this. Hang in there.
Glad to hear your biggest fear was not true and the cancer is not back. I hope they figure out what is causing the infection and get it treated. I will keep Alexa and your family in my prayers that this will all be over soon. Get some rest and take sometime for yourself and your family.
Lauren,
My prayers are with you and your family for Alexa.
Anita F.
{{{{huge hugs}}}} I am so sorry to hear what you have all been going through. Of course our love and best wishes to you all always
Oh Lauren, I’m so relieved for you and Alexa. I hope they figure out this infection and it’s gone soon. Get some rest. ((((HUGS))))
Prayers and hugs for you… It *is* so hard when something’s not right with our kids. I’m glad the issue is not cancer and pray Alexa will be better real soon.
I’m so glad to hear that they don’t think the cancer is back. That’s a relief! Remember that you are stronger than you think you are and you’ll all get through this. Thinking of all of you …. have a good rest and take some time for yourself. We’ll all be here for you!
{{{{{{{{{{Hugs and Prayers to all}}}}}}}}}}}
I am so sorry for all your troubles. I know how you feel with stuff happening to your kids. My youngest has been a quadriplegic for he last twelve years. The last two he has had pneumonia and a lot of health issues. the last being kidney failure. Dialysis was just another thing to deal with. I hate for winter to come as that is pneumonia season. I guess we do have to be real thankful for our kids and hope those who have no health issues know how lucky they are. I am a nervous wreck. Linda Gerig in Michigan
Lauren,
May God hold you and your family in the palm of his hand. You are an extraordinary woman, and you will get through this. Take care.
Lauren, I don’t comment often, but I just wanted to say that I’m thinking of you and Alexa. I’m so glad to read that the cancer hasn’t returned. I hope Alexa’s infection can be dealt with easily and effectively and that she’s feeling much better very soon.
You are all in our thoughts all the way from Australia. Prayers are being forwarded around here for you and your family. Get some rest and take care of one another.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Lauren. Thanks for all you do. You are truely an amazing mother and woman! Jessie
Love and hugs to all your family, you are in the thoughts and prayers of mine in Northern Ireland xxx
Oh Lauren – I am sooo happy to hear the the tests came back negative for cancer return. Your post brought tears to my eyes as I read it. Some were from relief, some were from happy thoughts, and some were just sad!!!! I cannot even imagine the emotional rollercoaster you have been on. You have been so strong through everything and I so admire you for it!!! I wish I was close enough to you to just give you a big hug. Hope Alexa starts feeling better now that they fixed the meds. Please give her a big hug from me!!! She is definitely one very special girl and so lucky to have such a wonderful mother and family!!!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lauren, you ARE one of the strongest people I have come across (in person or online) and such a caring and loving mother to your children. Don’t ever doubt that. 🙂
I am SO happy to read that most of Alexa’s problems have answers and that testing shows no cancer.
Your family will continue to be in my prayers. Please take care of yourself and get some much needed rest.
*hugs*
Sending you hugs, prayers, and lots of love. Know that you are loved so much by our Father. Praying he will wrap His arms around you and your family keeping you in His loving care.
Take time everyday to enjoy each other. It is all any of us have. Enjoy and cherish each other – even when you think you can’t.
Hugs
Annette
(((BIG HUGS))) and continued prayer for you and your family.
Lynn
Still keeping you in my prayers..isn’t wonderful and amazing how the Lord supplies support. I have found the most wonderful friends in faith through my crafts and hobbies. As this I feel, is a gift from God ,he also supplies my spiritual needs at the same time.
So glad to hear some good news!! I hope they figure out the infection and Alexa is back to feeling much better. Will still say prayers and sending lots of hugs your way!!
Thanks for the update Lauren. I am glad that you did get some good news. And hopefully they will figure out the infection soon. Will continue to send thoughts and prayers your way. {{{HUGS}}}
Take care, Lauren. Please don’t feel you have to “give” us a cheery post. We’re here through it all with you.
hi lauren~
hugs and prayers to you , alexa and the rest of the family. the best we can all do is take one day at a time. thanks god its not the cancer returning. your family has many people praying for you, and thru that you will gain strength.
hugs, theresa
Oh, Lauren…my heart breaks for your anguish and turmoil! You and your family are in my prayers as they figure out the cause of the infection.
I can only imagine what you’re going through. Stay strong. Enjoy time with your family and don’t worry about the rest, that’s what’s important.
Take care, Sue
My prayers continue with you and the entire family especially your little one.
Lots of hugs and good wishes for all of you.
Of course we read it! We love your cards, but we are also know what you are going through and are glad that you keep us updated. Having a “special needs” daughter myself, I know all about the never a dull moment aspect of it. My daughter keeps me hopping, too, and she is 19! All I can say is hang in there and fight the good fight. It is our Faith that I am sure that keeps us going through the rough patches. We make it through literally by the grace of God. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thanks for taking the time to post an update. I can’t even imagine the things that must go through your head and grip your heart. We’re always here for you. {{{HUGS}}} to you, Alexa, Jay, Noah, and Amber.
May God’s love wrap around you during this undoubtedly stressful time! I can not even begin to imagine what you must be going through! Hopefully the change in meds will help the situation dramatically, and Alexa’s Dr’s will be able to figure out what sort of infection she has and be able to get her on the road to recovery soon! Or at least be able to give you a diagnosis, so you can ease your heart a little bit. Good luck, take care and be strong! You have many many friends holding you and your family up in our prayers!
Lauren…. just letting you know we will continue to pray for you and your family…. Alexa is a strong little girl and hopefully all will turn out ok….. Cyber Hugs…..
Melissa
Thank the Lord for no new cancer! We will continue to pray for you, Alexa and your family here in the Cotton household!
“I know God won’t gives us what we can’t handle, but sometimes I wish he didn’t have so much faith in me! LOL! I’m really not that strong.”
How can you even think that you are not strong enough? You are one of the strongest people I know (in the cyber world). You have been through so much, yet you stay so positive. Thank you for always being there for us, sharing your amazing talent and your innermost thoughts and fears.
Hugs and prayers to you all!
huge {{{{{hugs}}}}} for all of you! I am relieved to hear that they are ruling out cancer. You’ll remain in my thoughts and prayers
inky hugs-
Rebecca
I can really sense that you have so much more on your mind. Please know that there are folks out here who genuinely do care and are concerned. I wish I didn’t know what it felt like to loose a child, but I do so I DO KNOW how those thoughts can creep in. They are overwhelming and it is ok to panic. We are mothers and that is an unbelivable bond. We also know that none of us has a time guarantee and that is scary. I am glad that you cast your cares onto the Lord, He tells us to. Your analogy about labor was right on, you have been through the Cancer and therefore YOU KNOW!!!! Scoop up your family and REJOICE that TODAY there is NO CANCER………..
Hugs,
Justine
Lauren God has given you many gifts and one of them is Alexa. I believe that special children go to very special parents. Also if you can not share here where would you share. Take care of yourself and then your family. Hope you feel bettersoon and I do know what stress like this can do to. I will continue to pray for you and your family. TFS.
Debbie/Phx AZ
Sending big Panda Hugs from Hong Kong. Love Mary
What wonderful news!! I am so happy and relieved for you and your family. I know exactly what you mean about when you’ve been through a hard time and your mind goes into panic mode when you think you have to go back. You are obviously a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I love reading your blog. Your spirit comes through so loud and clear and it’s very inspiring.
Big hugs to you.
Thoughts,prayers and hugs!
I was almost a bit leary to read your post but so glad I did. Hugs to you, your family and little Daisy. Now, hopefully you have crawled up with one or all of them and sleep soundly for a change. I totally agree with everything previously said – hugs and prayers to all of you!
Hope you have been able to get some sleep. You poor thing how stressful for all of you. Thank God it is not the cancer again. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Lauren: I can’t even imagine what you and your family are going through. God gives us obstacles…and sometimes it feels like it’s hard to get to that happy place. Alexa is pulling through and God gives us all mothers the strength when things are down. Alexa is very lucky to have you in her life – YOU ARE HER PILLAR OF STRENGTH during those times when she is drained of it. I am glad that she is doing fine and that you got some of your worries answered by a great team of experts. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family during this rough patch…Big Hugs to you and your family.
– Alma
Hey Lauren,
I am so behind on blog posts… but am catching up tonight. I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you and that I just plain did NOT know.
Bless little Alexa. I hope today she is better and your weekend is restful and peaceful!
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs & blessings.
Em
Was peeking back to see what I have missed.
My heart just sunk when I read this post. I am so
sorry to hear all this. I hope the doctors have this all
figured out and have reassured you..I do hope this
finds Alexa feeling so much better. Keep the Faith!!
My thoughts and prayers are always with you!!
Dee
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